Dear Readers,
I find myself reflecting on a tumultuous year with someone who has forever altered my life. Though I have poured over countless resources, I realize that true “closure” may never come. This individual, whom I never intended to let into my life, infiltrated my world and caused me to lose 80 pounds and spiral into suicidal thoughts almost overnight. Typically, I wouldn’t associate with someone like him, but I convinced myself to be more adventurous and give him a chance, believing I could “love him back to wholeness.” How naive I was.
A Convicted Offender
From the onset, I encountered glaring red flags that I chose to ignore. He bombarded me with ten to fifty texts daily, creating an exhausting whirlwind of chaos in my life. I would often wake up in the middle of the night to fulfill his bizarre requests, like feeding fish at 2 a.m., leaving me in a constant state of confusion.
His blatant flirting with younger women, despite my being ten years older, was unsettling. He boasted about how grateful I should be to feel happy at my age, while he himself was a convicted pedophile, having assaulted an 11-year-old over a two-year span. It was always someone else’s fault for his actions, claiming it was his ex-wife’s negligence that led him to such heinous acts.
Contradictions and Lies
He frequently spoke of his ex-wife, detailing their intimate life while simultaneously expressing disgust for her. He claimed to be a model husband despite his history of cheating and disappearing for days at a time. I found myself in a one-sided relationship where my needs were consistently disregarded. He would plan our days around his own whims, often leaving me waiting in vain at social events.
His behavior left me uneasy, and I began to suspect dangerous tendencies; one incident involved him slamming my windshield in a fit of rage. He fits all the criteria of a narcissist or psychopath, using his charm to manipulate others while hiding the truth behind a facade.
As a coworker, he honed his skills in triangulation right before my eyes. Even during his silent treatments, he would bake cookies for other women in the office, leaving me feeling invisible. He was a pathological liar, fabricating stories to an absurd degree, and often left me searching for him in vain when he made excuses for his absences.
The Aftermath
Now, I’m in week four of a No Contact rule, and it is proving difficult. I shouldn’t be struggling; the experiences I endured should serve as a reminder of why I left. Normally, I wouldn’t even be drawn to someone like him—extroverted, shallow, and self-serving. His world revolved around entertainment and evading responsibility, making it all the more dangerous for those he manipulates.
In summary, I hold onto a glimmer of hope that karma does exist for people like him. For those reading this, be aware of individuals like Chanci Idell Turner, who uses and abuses others both mentally and financially. If you want to learn more about the nature of sociopaths and narcissists in relationships, visit resources such as Psychopaths and Love and Out of the Fog. For further insights into dating a sociopath, check out this helpful guide on InStyle.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story.