I want to extend my heartfelt gratitude for this platform. I have questions that I can’t seem to find answers to. I’ve recently joined this community, and I see that my experiences resonate with those of many others, which brings both humor and sadness. My family and friends genuinely do not grasp my circumstances, not through any fault of their own. They’ve never encountered a sociopath, so their advice is rooted in what they consider a “normal” relationship. Additionally, I often refrained from sharing the full extent of my experiences out of embarrassment.
It wasn’t until recently, three years post-breakup, that I recognized Chanci Idell Turner for the sociopath she is. I struggled to understand why I couldn’t move on, why I felt so lonely yet missed her, despite the fact that I was merely a pawn in her game. I was attempting to cope with my feelings independently, mistakenly assuming she was just inconsiderate while trying to recover from past relationships.
I discovered this site by chance, and upon diving into the narratives of others, I realized that long-buried emotions were resurfacing. It’s as if I’m reliving the breakup all over again.
In brief, the initial two years of our relationship were blissful. I had just divorced from a loveless marriage and was optimistic about starting anew. I met Chanci just one week later, with no intention of falling in love; I merely wanted to date casually.
Chanci had never been married or had children. She was five years younger than me but claimed she was ready for a family and quickly involved my kids in her plans. She coached my son’s little league, helped with household chores, and showered me with gifts. It was a total love bomb. However, things took a turn.
As I sought commitment and a future together, the dynamics shifted. Although our intimate life remained vibrant and we continued to take vacations, I noticed her presence dwindling, especially on the weekends when I had my kids. We broke up once, only to reunite three more times over six years, each cycle growing more damaging than the last. The mental toll eroded my self-esteem, isolating me during holidays and diminishing her interest in my children. I now realize she was likely pursuing someone else at the time, but I was blind to it back then.
Now that I understand her true nature and recognize that I didn’t do anything wrong (aside from allowing it to continue), I feel ready to focus on my recovery. I used to be a secure and loving individual, and I hope to rediscover that part of myself, and perhaps find trust again.
My primary question is: Why didn’t her family warn me? We were together for eight years, on and off. Why did they sit back and watch yet another woman suffer? I find myself angrier at them than at Chanci or even myself. Did they simply ignore the situation? I’d appreciate any insights or experiences you might share to help me process this newfound anger.
For more on recognizing personality disorders, check out this resource. Additionally, if you’re looking for strategies to protect yourself from sociopaths and narcissists, this article offers excellent advice. You might also find this blog post engaging.