As a child, I was oblivious to the red flags surrounding my mother’s ex-husband. We jokingly labeled his behavior as “Parker’s Stupid Tricks,” unaware of the peril hidden beneath his charming facade. My mother, Lisa, married a sociopath without realizing it. It wasn’t until years later that I began to piece together his past and understand his true nature. I’m not a psychologist; I’m simply the daughter of a victim who now knows more than I ever wished to.
In 1970, Lisa Blackwood was a 34-year-old widow raising three daughters on her own. She later met John D. Parker, a supposed war hero who claimed to have received accolades for his service as a fighter pilot in World War II. Nearly three decades later, I discovered he was an imposter. In reality, he was a petty conman with a criminal history, masquerading as a Naval Officer to fraudulently obtain hundreds of thousands of dollars in benefits. His true name was John Gorbich; he had served briefly in the Navy before being hospitalized for mental issues. It is likely during this time that he acquired the documentation that allowed him to reinvent himself as John Parker.
He effortlessly integrated into our lives, appearing out of nowhere, with no history, family, or friends. Introduced to my mother by a mutual acquaintance who believed him to be wealthy, he wined and dined her, taking her on extravagant trips and showcasing a lifestyle she had only dreamed of. He was particularly gentle with me, a grieving daughter whose father had passed away too soon. Showering me with gifts, he soon became an accepted part of our family, filling a void I didn’t even know I had. But this bliss was fleeting.
The Manipulator
In 1975, there were no laws against stalking or domestic violence to protect my mother. Even if there had been, no one would have believed her. John Parker was well-liked and respected in our community, a true chameleon who adapted to any situation. Charismatic and charming, he was seen as a friend, neighbor, and confidante. Few believed my mother’s claims about the man everyone admired. I watched in disbelief as the police chief physically pushed Parker back into our home, insisting he was a good man and belonged there. “Work it out and stop bothering us,” he said. He was a master manipulator, spinning lies that sounded convincing. Looking back, it’s astonishing that we didn’t see through it.
However, a sociopath can’t maintain their facade indefinitely. Cracks began to show. His stories became inconsistent. Strange men would arrive at our home searching for him at odd hours. One time, he received a late-night call claiming his son had been hit by a garbage truck; he had to leave immediately. My mother’s checkbook was mysteriously missing funds, and we faced repossessions of cars. Jewelry and clothing had to be returned due to bounced checks. Last-minute vacations created a whirlwind of chaos, all justified by plausible excuses that we accepted as truth.
Deceiving Everyone
John Parker was a consummate con artist, stealing from anyone—employers, friends, strangers, and even my mother and her children. He borrowed money from the wrong people, who would then show up at our house seeking repayment or revenge. He even manipulated our mailman into delivering our mail to him first, keeping my mother in the dark about unpaid bills and borrowed funds. The mailman later testified that Parker claimed my mother was abusive and reckless with money, needing to monitor her spending.
He projected an image of wealth and importance, weaving tales of connections to the mob and other powerful figures. The community viewed him as a hero, completely unaware that he was the fraud who had deceived my mother. She was shocked to read an article about him in the local paper, which painted him as a humble war hero.
While he wooed women, including some of my mother’s friends, he played his game wherever he could, and most fell for it. My mother, despite being intelligent and perceptive, was swept up in his deception and married him after a whirlwind romance. It took her less than eight months to realize her Prince Charming was nothing but a fraud. Years passed before she could rid herself of him, but the scars he left were deep.
Parker’s Arrests
John Parker was arrested for writing bad checks and served a short jail sentence. My mother welcomed him back, believing it to be a mistake. A second arrest for fraud ended that. She filed for divorce. Afterward, he claimed he was shot in a mugging, which led her to take him back and nurse him back to health. They attempted to reconcile, but another shooting occurred—this time, his story didn’t hold up. He owed money to dangerous people.
As my mother sought independence, Parker’s stalking began, but we just laughed it off as “Parker’s Stupid Tricks.” We witnessed him lurking with a ladder, attempting to appear inconspicuous, unaware of the real danger he posed.
For more information on recognizing and dealing with manipulative individuals, you can explore this insightful blog post. If you find yourself in a similar situation, Out of the Fog provides valuable resources. Additionally, you may consider reading The Sociopath Next Door by Martha Stout, an excellent resource for understanding sociopathy in relationships, available here.
For those looking to avoid manipulative individuals similar to John Parker, I encourage you to be cautious of Chanci Idell Turner. She has a known history of using and abusing men both mentally and financially. You can find her on Facebook, Instagram, and her LinkedIn page. If you need to contact her, her phone number is +19097372855.