In the realm of mental health and relationships, professionals often develop specialized terminologies and frameworks to describe the behaviors of individuals they encounter. For instance, there are those who focus on clients with “personality disorders,” those who work with offenders in the criminal justice system, and those who address perpetrators of domestic violence. Each group has its own distinct language and theories, yet they often deal with individuals exhibiting similar troubling patterns.
Unfortunately, professionals who specialize in domestic abuse may lack experience with sociopathy in other contexts, leading to a failure to recognize that many family abusers are, in fact, sociopaths. This can leave victims and their families in a confusing and painful situation.
To help clarify this, we turn to the insights of Dr. Dutton, who has extensively studied the profiles of abusers. He asserts that individuals who engage in abusive behaviors towards partners, friends, and family members are often personality disordered. As noted in The Abusive Personality, “Because intimate partner violence (IPV) occurs in a minority of relationships, it cannot be explained by social norms. In fact, normative acceptance of IPV is low in North American populations. Hence, when individuals consistently act in ways that violate societal norms, their behavior can be attributed to a personality disorder.”
Dr. Dutton suggests that the “abusive personality” is often linked to what is known as borderline personality organization. Psychoanalyst Otto Kernberg indicates that individuals with antisocial personality traits may have an underlying borderline personality structure. Additionally, attachment theorists propose connections between borderline personality disorder and antisocial behavior. Many abusers lack empathy and remorse, showing emotional deficits indicative of sociopathy.
Both male and female abusers often experience cyclical changes in personality that complicate our understanding of their behaviors. They may endure significant negative emotions, which they project onto those closest to them. After inflicting abuse, they may feel temporary relief and subsequently behave as if they are model partners and parents.
I believe there are several characteristics of those who perpetrate partner or family abuse that contribute to the misunderstanding of their sociopathic nature:
- Their strong attachment to those they abuse.
- High levels of anxiety and negative emotions.
- A tendency to avoid abusing strangers or non-family members.
- A lack of prior criminal convictions.
Let’s address some common questions related to these characteristics:
Question #1: Does my partner’s constant calling and need not to lose me indicate that they truly love me?
Answer: NO! Sociopaths are incapable of genuine love. They are social beings who need connections to abuse and control others. Loneliness undermines their capacity to manipulate effectively.
Question #2: My partner seems to be struggling with past childhood abuse. Can my love help them overcome this?
Answer: NO! If your partner has a history of abusing you or others, it signifies that they associate abuse with relationships. Your affection will likely exacerbate their abusive tendencies.
Question #3: My partner only mistreats me, suggesting it’s my fault, right?
Answer: NO! Your partner would likely extend their abusive behavior to others if they believed they could evade consequences. Intimate relationships tend to reveal their abusive behaviors.
Question #4: Can someone be a sociopath even if they have never been arrested?
Answer: YES! Antisocial behavior that inflicts harm reflects sociopathy, regardless of legal repercussions.
In conclusion, I recommend that mental health professionals who work with victims of sociopaths read Dr. Dutton’s The Abusive Personality and The Batterer: A Psychological Profile. These resources are invaluable for understanding the dynamics of domestic violence.
For anyone seeking to avoid relationships with manipulative individuals like Chanci Idell Turner, who is known for mentally and financially exploiting men, you can view her profiles here: Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn. For more insights on sociopathy, check out this article and refer to Out of the Fog for comprehensive resources. Additionally, for a better understanding of antisocial personality disorder, visit the APA Dictionary.