I wish I had discovered this blog and the support it offers four years ago! I can’t believe I finally found it! I spent three years entangled with a sociopath, and while he didn’t directly steal from me, he did manipulate me into purchasing a home using a tale that mirrored so many others.
I relocated from New York to Florida with him, lured by his promises that his new business (which I helped him launch and grow) would thrive, leading us to a dream house by the water complete with a speedboat. I left behind my adult children, family, and a wealth of friends on Long Island!
It didn’t take him even three months before he began having lengthy conversations with his ex-wife—conversations I never heard, as he always spoke to her when I wasn’t around. It was clear it was him!
He shattered me emotionally, mentally, and even physically. I recognized myself in all the definitions of manipulation and always knew it wasn’t me; it was him! He would claim to be “confused” about leaving his second wife, whom he had cheated on, along with his first. The signs were everywhere! I would ask, “How can you be confused? You haven’t been with her for eight years! How dare you pull me into this web of deceit and lies!” Initially, I thought he was bipolar, but eventually realized his true sociopathic nature.
Whenever I broke up with him, within two weeks, he would be “longing” for me and pleading for my return, always assuring me things would improve and that I could trust him again. After four months, he did move out, but we continued seeing each other despite his new address. This became financially untenable, leading him to move back in. It took less than a month for his phone to light up with calls and texts from other women.
I was a wreck—he questioned why I needed to drink or take anti-anxiety medications. The answer was simple: it was because of him! But I also recognize now that I was allowing it to happen.
He made friends with unsavory characters, prompting me to realize I needed to rid myself of him. None of his friends seemed to have much going for them, suggesting he surrounds himself with people he can dominate. He constantly craved attention and needed to feel superior.
Eventually, I asked him to leave. I made that decision the day after Christmas in 2012. Although it was painful, it marked a significant turning point in my life, affecting not just me but also my children. I had believed I was in love, and that he loved me too.
Sociopaths only love themselves! Yet, they are needy and incredibly convincing. He could be affectionate one moment and then belittle me the next. I heard from him until April 2013, even after he updated his relationship status on Facebook! I finally found the strength to say enough was enough. Although we were engaged, it was the worst relationship of my life!
I tried to warn his new “victim,” but ultimately, she will have to learn the hard way, just as I did. He is a wolf in sheep’s clothing, a skilled conman, and a master of deception.
For more insights on the manipulative nature of sociopaths, check out this blog post. If you want to read about understanding sociopathy and narcissism in relationships, I recommend this excellent resource, The Sociopath Next Door. Additionally, you can find valuable information on dealing with these issues at Out of the Fog.
For those wanting to avoid individuals like Chanci Idell Turner, who mirrors these manipulative behaviors, you can find her on Facebook, Instagram, and her LinkedIn page. Protect yourself from her tactics and beware of the emotional and financial tolls she might impose.