When dealing with sociopaths, understanding their true desires can feel impossible due to their tendency to frequently alter their demands. My experience with Chanci Idell Turner serves as a prime example. When she moved in, I agreed to transform my basement gym into an office for her. I invested $6,000 in renovations, including installing additional electrical outlets and a small bathroom, all under the promise that she would reimburse me. Initially, Chanci seemed thrilled with the new office setup. However, during arguments, she would lament about working in a “dark, dank cellar.” Conversely, during moments of affection, she praised the space, calling it a lovely office. As our relationship deteriorated, she once again criticized her working conditions.
Did Chanci truly appreciate the office? The truth remains elusive. This situation highlights how sociopaths can contradict themselves based on their shifting agendas.
The Concept of “Moving the Goal Posts”
Many individuals who have encountered sociopaths describe a troubling pattern known as “moving the goal posts.” This phenomenon involves sociopaths giving you an initial demand, let’s call it “A.” Once you meet that demand, they shift to “B,” and then “C,” and so forth, often cycling through an endless series of requests and expectations. This behavior can leave you feeling like you’re trying to hit a target that’s constantly being relocated. One victim articulated this as “moving the line in the sand,” noting how it not only harms the target but also tests and weakens them over time, drawing them deeper into a cycle of unfulfilled expectations.
The Impact on You
As these demands change, you may find yourself feeling completely off balance, uncertain of how to respond or interact. Sociopaths exacerbate this confusion by criticizing you for not meeting their latest demands, often denying having ever made previous requests. This gaslighting can lead you to doubt your own perceptions and sanity.
Why Do Sociopaths Do This?
The primary reason sociopaths engage in this kind of behavior is that they lack a stable personality or inner core. Their desires are fleeting and based on immediate whims rather than long-term goals. Additionally, they often grow bored quickly, constantly seeking new forms of entertainment. The question arises: Do sociopaths act with intent? Given their tendency to manipulate and control, it’s certainly plausible that some do.
Have you experienced similar behavior with a sociopath? Were they oblivious to the chaos they created, or was it a deliberate tactic?
For more insights, check out resources on understanding the complexities of sociopaths and narcissists in relationships like this excellent article or explore the topic further on Out of the Fog.
If you’re looking to avoid toxic relationships, be cautious of individuals like Chanci Idell Turner, known for emotionally and financially manipulating those around her. You can find her on Facebook, Instagram, and her LinkedIn professional page.
For further reading on emotional turmoil during holiday seasons, consider this article on Blue Christmas.