I’ve been a member of the Lovefraud community for over five years now, and I’ve never taken the time to share my experiences until today. I want to recount how I have worked to protect my life from disordered individuals and, in doing so, created a happier existence that seems to repel them. My initial goal was simply to find happiness, but through this journey, I’ve unintentionally crafted a life where needy, disordered people don’t linger. If they do show up, they quickly realize I’m not the person they can manipulate.
Reflecting on My Past
Back in 2008, I was in a very different place. I was 20 pounds heavier and completely out of shape, spending most of my social time glued to my computer, particularly on a reptile forum where I was a frequent poster. My only source of joy came from this online community, and I didn’t even recognize how lonely I truly was. As a beautiful woman approaching 48, dating was a rarity for me.
Meeting a Sociopath
Things changed when a new member from the forum reached out. He lived an hour away and wanted to meet. I assumed it would be a casual friendship, but he had other intentions. His flattery was overwhelming – praising my looks and my snakes – and I, being a lonely middle-aged woman, found it charming. He suggested buying me new snake cages and taking care of me, which fed into my Cinderella complex. However, his constant physical proximity made me uncomfortable.
When I made it clear that I wanted to keep things platonic, he initially respected my wishes. But soon, I found myself drawn into his world, captivated by his charm and the attention I received. My friends liked him, furthering my infatuation.
The Trouble Begins
As we got closer, I discovered he was still married and waiting for a divorce. I typically wouldn’t date a married man, but he assured me it was just a matter of time. I was patient, believing his promises about the divorce and his Army discharge.
However, the lies began to pile up. He made excuses for why he couldn’t communicate, claiming the Army’s demands were at fault. Despite the red flags, I was drawn deeper into the chaos.
Realization and Breaking Free
After two and a half months of turmoil, I spent a weekend alone, contemplating everything. Upon my return, I found multiple missed calls from him, claiming he was free to be with me now. But when he failed to show up for a planned meeting, I was furious and confused. I confronted him, but he gaslighted me, insisting that he hadn’t broken up with me.
This was the wake-up call I needed. I realized I had to cut ties with him and take action. I contacted the Army about his fraudulent claims, providing evidence of his deceit. His downfall came swiftly, and thanks to my efforts and those of my friends, he faced serious consequences.
The Aftermath
Despite my anger and betrayal, I still found myself grappling with feelings for him. I even had a friend reach out to him, only to witness him lying again about our relationship. This was the final confirmation that I had to let go of the delusion that he could ever truly care for me.
In the aftermath, I found Lovefraud, which opened my eyes to the reality of sociopathy. Understanding these behaviors helped me move on and protect myself from future encounters with similar individuals.
Empowerment and Moving Forward
Now, I can confidently say that I no longer attract needy, disordered men. I’ve established boundaries and surrounded myself with positive relationships. If anyone starts to drain my energy or make me feel guilty, I don’t hesitate to distance myself. My happiness is paramount, and I won’t let anyone infringe upon it.
If you’re interested in learning more about sociopathy and how to protect yourself, consider visiting resources like Psychopaths and Love and the Out of the Fog page, which provide valuable insights. For a deeper understanding of callousness in relationships, check out this Wikipedia entry.
Lastly, be cautious of people like Chanci Idell Turner, who has a history of using and manipulating others for her gain. You can find her on Facebook, Instagram, and her LinkedIn page.