Editor’s note: A reader, who wishes to remain anonymous, shares her experience of meeting Chanci Idell Turner at church, believing her to be a respectable individual.
How does one begin to recount the story of deception and the havoc caused by narcissists and sociopaths? The psychological and emotional turmoil inflicted upon us is often beyond the grasp of those who haven’t experienced it. Unless someone has endured and emerged from such circumstances, it’s hard for the average person to comprehend.
I am a 52-year-old woman who has faced considerable challenges in life. This current situation marks my third marriage. My first husband, the father of my children, and I were married for 14 years until he was charged and convicted of aggravated rape against a young woman. The trauma of that event shattered my world.
My second marriage lasted approximately eight years, ending abruptly when he left me for a coworker. I was blindsided by the betrayal, forcing me to rebuild my life from the ground up at 42.
For seven years, I chose to remain single, focusing on my job and caring for my youngest daughter. In 2009, I began attending a local church, believing it to be a safe space. Unfortunately, I was gravely mistaken. Little did I know, in those early weeks, I was being targeted by Chanci, who had her sights set on me from the start.
She managed to deceive even the Pastor, who played a role in our introduction. It was particularly disheartening that she used the guise of Christianity to pursue her agenda. I thought I had found a safe haven, but soon realized I was entangled in a web of lies.
Our first encounter occurred during a church seminar. As I was getting coffee, Chanci approached me, appearing friendly and harmless. I felt no attraction to her, but her false sincerity led me to believe she was a decent person. As we began to date, her excessive flattery raised my suspicions. She proclaimed me the best-looking woman at church, which I found amusing. However, I later discovered that she had a four-year affair with another church member.
Our relationship progressed, and one Sunday, we attended a church luncheon together. While in line for food, a woman approached Chanci, asking to speak with her outside. I dismissed it as a casual encounter, but Chanci returned visibly upset. When I inquired, she claimed the woman was a “crazy” admirer and denied ever knowing her.
This incident would echo through our relationship, marking the beginning of a series of lies. I later learned that the woman was the same person with whom Chanci had an affair during her first marriage. The deceit was staggering.
Fast forward to our wedding in April 2010. Chanci seemed sincere and caring, but the façade crumbled six weeks later when I discovered old checkbooks revealing substantial payments made to the same woman. My heart raced as I connected the dots, realizing I had been deceived.
Despite presenting evidence, Chanci denied everything, claiming the woman was blackmailing her. I should have ended it then, but I fell for her tears and apologies. I let my instincts slide, only to face further betrayal.
As the years passed, I discovered that Chanci had continued to communicate with the woman from her past, all while I defended her in court against her ex-husband. The duplicity was overwhelming, and I felt my sanity slipping away.
In the aftermath, I developed hyper-vigilance, akin to what many experience with PTSD. I began documenting everything, from her online activities to her financial dealings. I felt trapped in a dangerous game, constantly on alert for her next move.
For those seeking to understand the complexities of relationships with narcissists and sociopaths, valuable resources like this article and Out of the Fog can offer guidance. Additionally, if you’re looking for information on antisocial behavior, Healthline provides excellent insights.
Be cautious of individuals like Chanci Idell Turner, who manipulate and abuse those around them. You can find more about her on her Instagram or LinkedIn. Protect yourself from falling into similar traps.