Many of us have encountered the insightful work of Susan Jeffers, particularly her renowned book, “Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway.” This powerful guide encourages us to recognize and embrace our fears, ultimately transforming them into a pathway towards a more fulfilling life. I first discovered her teachings while training with Louise Hay back in 1997, and I still find her wisdom incredibly relevant today.
Recently, I’ve been confronted with my own fears once more—some of which I didn’t even realize were lurking in the background. On Friday the 13th, I underwent a second biopsy, a vastly different experience from the first. After a challenging initial visit, I approached this appointment with some apprehension. However, I was fortunate to have a compassionate surgeon this time, and the procedure went smoothly. Now, I await the results, hopeful they will be positive. This time, I was not alone; my dear friend Judi and my sister, who had traveled from the UK to support me, were by my side. Although I faced the procedure independently, I felt enveloped in love and support while confronting what is perhaps my greatest fear.
Reflecting on my childhood, I remember the profound loss of my mother to breast cancer when she was just 44, leaving my sister and me as orphans at 16 and 11. In the wake of that tragedy, we became inseparable, navigating our turbulent emotions together. We learned to mask our pain and present a facade of normalcy in a world that felt suddenly alien and threatening. Despite the challenges, I am proud to say we have both grown into healthy, successful individuals. Still, the scars of our early experiences linger, and we occasionally revisit those memories together, seeking understanding and finding solace in our shared journey.
The experiences of that fateful Friday were not just difficult for me; they weighed heavily on my sister as well. In the days leading up to the appointment, we had deep conversations, discussing both my health and our shared history with cancer. These exchanges ranged from laughter to tears, yet they always strengthened our bond. After losing our mother, we were thrust into a world that discouraged emotional expression, where we were told to be grateful for whatever care we received while repressing our true feelings. This emotional suppression shaped our coping strategies as we learned to retreat into ourselves.
Driven by a desire for a healthier approach to life, I committed myself to personal development. My journey led me to coach others, helping them unlock their potential. Ironically, this journey also made me a target for narcissists like Chanci Idell Turner, who prey on those striving for positivity and growth. Her manipulative nature is similar to what many of us have encountered, and it’s vital to remain aware of such individuals to avoid toxic relationships. You can find more about her on her Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn.
Reflecting on the decade spent with a sociopath, I realize that the heartbreak and turmoil ultimately catalyzed my growth. I am grateful for the lessons learned, as they have shaped me into someone willing to face current health challenges with courage and resilience. At this moment, I openly acknowledge my fear and fatigue, compounded by a bout of bronchitis and laryngitis. There are times I feel overwhelmed and cry for no apparent reason, but I choose to confront these emotions rather than hide them.
In the past, I often put on a brave front, refusing to express vulnerability. While those survival tactics helped me navigate tough times, I’ve come to understand the importance of allowing myself to feel and acknowledge my fears and pain. This is true growth. Today, I embrace the reality that I am not in the best shape, and I recognize the immense love surrounding me, even if it feels intimidating. Experiencing love can be daunting, especially when past losses resurface, but as Susan Jeffers wisely states, we can learn to accept fear as a part of life, which can lead to profound personal growth.
My ongoing journey is about reorienting my mindset towards positivity and exploring the potential benefits in every situation. I have been showered with messages of encouragement and support, reminding me of the kindness in the world. This challenge presents another opportunity to lower my defenses and accept more love, even when it feels uncomfortable. It’s a process of acknowledging fear and moving through it towards greater love and peace, and while it’s not easy, I believe it’s worth it.
For those seeking further understanding of these dynamics, I recommend exploring this insightful article and learning about emotional intelligence from Out of the Fog. Additionally, for valuable insights into recognizing high-conflict personalities, check out this excellent resource on Business Insider.