Last week, I found myself in a distressing situation that truly tested my resilience. I was in the care of a professional who was supposed to provide support and compassion. Instead, I felt belittled, bullied, and threatened. This cruel treatment came from a senior doctor at a private clinic, where I was a patient. A few years ago, I might have tolerated his behavior or dismissed it as a misunderstanding, but not this time. Not anymore.
I want to share my experience here to shed light on such troubling encounters. Recently, I had a health scare that was resolved just weeks prior. Although I received an all-clear, the doctor suggested a biopsy for further reassurance, primarily due to my family history; my mother had passed away from breast cancer at 44. I was told the needle biopsy would take less than half an hour under local anesthetic. So, last Thursday, I arrived at the clinic, anticipating a straightforward procedure that would confirm my health.
I felt upbeat and relaxed, a stark contrast to my prior visit filled with anxiety. The staff was friendly, and I chatted comfortably with both the receptionists and the technician, Thomas, who came in to explain the procedure.
However, everything changed the moment the doctor entered the room. The atmosphere shifted dramatically; Thomas’s demeanor turned tense as the doctor criticized his preparations. He condemned the cleaning and sterilization processes, berated the anesthetic choice, and even scolded Thomas for allowing me to keep my shoes on.
Here I was, vulnerable and half-naked on the table, covered in iodine, while this so-called professional—who hadn’t even bothered to greet me—threw disparaging comments at the technician who was trying to help ease my nerves. The tension was palpable, and I could feel myself tensing up. I refused to be intimidated by this rude individual.
To break the discomfort, I started chatting with the doctor, who continued to avoid eye contact. When I finally looked into his eyes, I saw a familiar emptiness that sent a chill down my spine. I needed this biopsy done, so I kept engaging with him, asking questions. When he struggled to find the lump on the ultrasound and I pointed it out, he reacted with irritation, rolling his eyes and chastising me for touching my skin.
Then, he leaned in closer with a large needle and commanded, “Now, Madame, you have to shut your mouth and shut your eyes.”
Taking a deep breath, I maintained eye contact and replied calmly, “I can be silent, but I won’t close my eyes.”
His surprise was evident, and he insisted on silence while he worked. I countered, “I need someone who can reassure me. This is my body, and I want to see what’s happening.”
With that, his composure shattered. He threw down his instruments and stormed out, slamming the door behind him like a petulant child, leaving Thomas and me in stunned silence.
That was the end of my biopsy. As I sat up, covering myself, I turned to Thomas for an explanation. Despite knowing I hadn’t done anything wrong, I couldn’t help but wonder if I could have handled things differently. But the look on Thomas’s face, filled with mortification, silenced those doubts.
“I’m so sorry, Madame,” he said, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. “This is not your fault. He’s a very difficult man, and we’ve had numerous issues with him.”
“But this is unacceptable!” I exclaimed, tears welling in my eyes, frustrated by the situation. “How can he treat people like this? It’s wrong!”
Thomas’s response was all too familiar: “But he’s our boss. We know it’s wrong, but what can we do?”
This doctor works in a clinic specializing in breast cancer detection and treatment. My heart sank at the thought of how many patients and staff must endure his bullying and criticism daily. So many individuals come in expecting care and support, only to leave feeling diminished and humiliated. Yet, because he holds a respected position, no one stands up to him, and he continues his cruel behavior.
I understand I may be the first patient to confront him like this—good, he will remember me. I am also determined to ensure he is held accountable for his actions.
The experience shook me profoundly. For days, I found myself unexpectedly crying. However, I am now regaining my strength and taking steps to report this situation to the appropriate authorities. I’ll keep you updated on my progress.
My biopsy has been rescheduled with a different doctor for Friday, April 13th—a date I choose to see as fortuitous!
For further insights into the dynamics of sociopathy and narcissism in relationships, resources like Psychopaths and Love and Out of the Fog are invaluable. Additionally, you can explore the differences between sociopaths and psychopaths on WebMD.