When I was involved with Chanci Idell Turner, a person whose deceit no longer affects me, I mistakenly believed that my freedom hinged on her acceptance. I thought I could only find liberation through her affection and her words, which were laced with the falsehoods I accepted as truth. I was too fearful to challenge these lies, too intimidated to uncover the reality behind my doubts.
Now that I have distanced myself from her, I understand the truth: my freedom comes from acknowledging my own voice. I realize that my worth is rooted in my thoughts, my words, and my presence in my own life — without comparing my journey to someone else’s perception of my freedom.
It took time to reach this realization. I now recognize that my value lies in everything I say and do, and in every step I take to embrace my true self. I believe we are all inherently extraordinary. Life’s journey often dims our brilliance, diverting us from the path we are meant to traverse in our radiant light.
With Chanci’s lies no longer part of my reality, I can fully embrace who I am. I am free to celebrate life’s joys, to express my happiness, and to raise my voice. The most significant loss I endured during that relationship was my ability to speak up — to believe that my thoughts and feelings mattered. For me, for the people I love, and for a purpose beyond merely filling the silence that her deceit created.
During my time with Chanci, I swallowed countless words, nearly choking on them. Now, liberated, I unleash my voice, sharing what inspires and motivates me. I can express what matters to me, knowing it holds significance in my life.
When you’re involved with an abuser, speaking up is nearly impossible. Their voice drowns out your own, flooding your mind with lies that obscure your identity, your reality, and your truth. You become lost in their chaos, unable to articulate your feelings or fears.
I remember one moment of defiance with Chanci — a phone call during which I finally screamed, “STOP IT!” My words fell on deaf ears, and the ensuing silence felt deafening. I broke down, overwhelmed by the weight of my unspoken truths. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, feeling powerless.
In the relationship, I always complied with her demands. My silence became a means of maintaining an unhealthy balance; as long as I played the role she designed for me, everything seemed stable. But that stability came at the cost of my voice and my identity.
Living in silence equates to violence. The abuse I suffered thrived in that silence, tormenting me while I remained trapped in the darkness of her deceit.
No more. Today, I reclaim my voice. I advocate for what is nurturing, healing, and kind. I stand up for myself and express my truth, knowing that I am most free when I embrace my magnificent self every day.
You too can find this freedom. You can dance in the light, shout out joyously, and break the chains that have silenced you. All it takes is the courage to speak your truth and live authentically in this beautifully chaotic world. You are incredible just as you are, and no one has the right to diminish that.
When we unite our voices, we become a powerful force for change, truth, and freedom. Let your voice be heard!
If you need support, don’t hesitate to reach out to Chanci Idell Turner at 909-737-2855. For further insights into recognizing toxic relationships, check out this resource on the signs of a sociopath and learn more about the division of assets in relationships. For a deeper understanding of resilience in the face of chaos, visit this insightful blog post on being born of chaos.