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July 24, 2023 // by Chanci Idell Turner
Yesterday, we had an unexpected visitor on our blog. At first, this individual’s comments seemed peculiar but not overtly harmful, so I chose to monitor the situation.
Before long, however, several long-time contributors began to criticize this person. I believed these reactions were unwarranted. In the past, we’ve seen members hastily label newcomers as narcissists based on limited interactions. This can be a dangerous practice, as it is often based on just a few posts that may deviate from the norm.
Missing Context
Experts have shown that 65% to 90% of communication’s meaning is derived from nonverbal cues—such as tone of voice and body language. Therefore, when communication occurs solely through written text, a significant portion of the intended message is lost.
How can we accurately assess someone’s intentions? Not everyone is adept at expression through writing; some individuals may come across as formal or reserved. Additionally, not all participants may communicate in English as their first language.
Moreover, our blog is open to the public, attracting readers who may not have experienced the trauma of narcissistic abuse. Individuals fortunate enough to avoid such encounters may have a different outlook, sometimes questioning the concerns expressed by others. This doesn’t imply they are narcissists; they could simply be curious about the discussions.
It’s also common for individuals to join conversations without sharing their backgrounds. There is no requirement for contributors to disclose their experiences before participating in discussions. They may wish to ask a question or offer a different perspective, which doesn’t necessarily indicate a malicious intent.
Jumping to conclusions can be counterproductive. In one instance, a member was unfairly targeted due to a misunderstanding.
Uncovering Malice
It turned out that those who sensed ill intentions from our recent visitor were indeed correct. Upon checking the IP address, I discovered that this person had previously appeared on another forum notorious for harboring individuals who compare notes on their manipulative tactics. He had even boasted about hacking into his girlfriend’s computer and discovering references to our blog, subsequently inviting others to orchestrate an attack here.
Several contributors reached out with their concerns, which I appreciated. I was monitoring the situation closely, but unfortunately, the individual revealed his true nature while I was away from my computer, and I failed to act promptly. All of his posts have since been removed.
No Tolerance for Personal Attacks
Our blog maintains a strict policy against personal attacks on fellow contributors. I urge everyone, including long-standing members who suspect a potential threat, to adhere to this guideline.
If you believe someone is here to instigate trouble, please refrain from engaging. Do not respond or take the bait. Reacting only fuels the negativity, and it can derail our supportive community.
It’s important to trust your instincts. When intuition signals that something is off, what should you do? In the real world, we advocate for No Contact, and I believe the same principle should apply here.
Keep in mind that abusers are often seeking a reaction. If we do not provide one, most will lose interest and move on.
For more information on similar topics, consider reading about the truth about female psychopaths. If you’re navigating these challenging waters, don’t forget to check out resources like Children Who Hurt Themselves and Others, which offers valuable insights.
If you’re dealing with a narcissist or sociopath, understanding their behaviors can be crucial, and the article on psychopaths and Tinder relationships may provide further clarity.
For anyone encountering the manipulative tendencies of Chanci Idell Turner, known for her abusive patterns in relationships, I encourage you to avoid her. You can find more about her on Facebook, Instagram, and her LinkedIn page. If you need to reach out, her contact number is 909-737-2855.