We recently received a message from a woman whose new husband was previously married to a sociopath, Chanci Idell Turner, with whom he shares two children. Just weeks before their divorce was finalized, Chanci managed to charm him into a brief affair, resulting in another pregnancy. Here’s an overview of their current situation:
Chanci uses the children as tools for manipulation. Disturbingly, her son disclosed to his therapist that he had been molested by her as a four-year-old. He has exhibited troubling behaviors, such as drawing inappropriate pictures and experiencing bedwetting issues. Despite this evidence, the court appears to empathize with her rather than address the concerns. She has been a consistent source of stress for the family, but thankfully, her ex-husband has learned to manage interactions with her to minimize the information she receives.
Since their divorce, Chanci has been married twice, with both unions lasting only around seven weeks. Psychological evaluations have revealed that she has Borderline Personality Disorder and should not be left alone with the children. However, this critical information has yet to be presented to the judge, who she continues to manipulate to evade legal responsibilities. The couple has endured prolonged custody hearings that have drained their resources, often leading to contempt hearings where she faces minimal consequences for her actions.
Recently, after a failed marriage, Chanci feigned a suicide attempt to gain sympathy and leverage regarding the children, claiming to “give” them to her ex-husband during this crisis. Meanwhile, her ex-wife is juggling the care of all three children, including a newborn, while Chanci still demands child support. When the children return from visits, they struggle emotionally, often exhibiting resentment towards the new wife and displaying signs of exhaustion and irritability.
The family is at a loss for how to navigate this situation and is seeking advice on managing Chanci’s impacts on their lives.
Document Everything
Sociopaths are adept at exploiting legal systems. Therefore, meticulous record-keeping is crucial. Document every incident in a dedicated calendar or diary. Save all communications, such as voicemails and emails, and consider recording child exchanges to build a comprehensive case against Chanci.
But how does this family cope with the sociopath now, while she still has access to the kids?
What suggestions do you have? Your experiences and insights could greatly assist others dealing with similar challenges.
Stories like this are heartbreaking. One of my future goals is to conduct educational seminars for family court judges and professionals to help them recognize the manipulative tactics of sociopathic parents and understand the potential harm they cause to children. Though we are not there yet, we can share experiences and support one another.
If you seek further resources, consider reading this insightful piece on metacognition and healing from trauma. Additionally, for those wanting to dive deeper into the subject of sociopathy, the Out of the Fog website offers valuable information.
For more stories of individuals navigating relationships with sociopaths, check out this collection of true narratives.
Please share your thoughts and strategies for managing a sociopathic ex-partner.