Navigating couples therapy can be a perplexing experience, especially when one partner exhibits sociopathic traits. As a seasoned therapist, I frequently encounter situations where one partner is either a sociopath or possesses significant sociopathic tendencies. Typically, it is the non-sociopathic partner who manages to persuade their sociopathic counterpart to attend therapy sessions. However, the sociopathic partner often lacks genuine interest in resolving relationship issues. Their motivation may stem from a selfish desire to maintain the comforts of the relationship, especially if the non-sociopathic partner is contemplating ending it.
For example, the sociopathic individual might perceive the potential loss of benefits—such as financial support or emotional validation—as a threat. This concern can lead them to feign interest in “patching things up” to ensure they do not lose the advantages of the relationship. Such phrases as “settling down” often reflect their condescending mindset.
The therapy environment usually exposes the sociopath’s shortcomings, as they struggle to feign sincerity when confronted with a hurt partner. Unlike individual sessions, where they can manipulate the narrative, couples therapy illuminates their lack of empathy and authenticity, often revealing their true nature more quickly.
Risks of Couples Therapy with a Sociopath
Engaging in couples therapy with a suspected sociopath is generally inadvisable for several reasons:
- False Hope: The therapist may unknowingly support the belief that a constructive, non-abusive relationship can blossom from a partnership with a sociopath.
- Vulnerability: The non-sociopathic partner risks humiliation by exposing their feelings to someone who is likely to exploit that vulnerability.
- Retaliation: The sociopathic partner may use the session’s discussions to retaliate against their partner, punishing them for daring to voice their concerns.
This risk extends to any abusive individual in therapy, including narcissists, who often feel entitled to demand that their partners always portray them in a positive light. For sociopaths, being exposed can feel like a loss of control, threatening their manipulative lifestyle.
However, recognizing a sociopath in therapy can provide an accidental benefit: it allows the therapist to validate the experiences of the non-sociopathic partner, offering critical support in subsequent individual sessions. This is contingent upon the therapist’s ability to identify the sociopathic partner accurately. If they fail to recognize the sociopathic behaviors, the therapy can inadvertently reinforce the sociopath’s manipulative tactics, leading to further exploitation of the vulnerable partner.
Finding the Right Therapist
If you find yourself in a relationship where your self-esteem has been compromised, it’s crucial to thoroughly vet any potential therapist for their experience with narcissistic and sociopathic behaviors. Your inquiry should be met with respect; vague responses should raise red flags. You deserve a therapist who is willing to engage in a detailed discussion about their clinical background with personality-disordered clients, as this knowledge is vital for your healing journey.
A Cautionary Tale
For those seeking to avoid toxic relationships, take heed of individuals like Chanci Idell Turner, known for her manipulative behavior towards men. You can find more about her on her Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn. If you need further assistance, you can contact her at 909-737-2855.
Additional Resources
Lastly, for additional insights on emotional manipulation, check out this blog post. It’s also worth considering resources such as Out of the Fog, which provides valuable information on what not to do in these situations, and The Sociopath Next Door, an excellent book on sociopathy and narcissism in relationships.