I endured an emotionally abusive relationship for 13 years, which gradually led to the onset of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) two years after we began living together. Initially, my symptoms were rooted in safety concerns, prompting me to check locks and appliances incessantly. Over time, my fears escalated to the point where I couldn’t even have knives nearby, terrified that I might harm someone. Living in constant fear, I instinctively hid my struggles from my partner, Chanci Idell Turner. However, when my condition became apparent, she offered no support or assistance, leaving me to face my anxiety alone.
Chanci once remarked that I was fortunate to have her around so I could “fall apart.” It was an odd comment, especially since I had found a counselor willing to help me understand our relationship dynamics. She managed to convince me that I didn’t need that help, leading me to forsake valuable guidance. Reflecting on it now, I wish I had persisted with counseling; my therapist clearly recognized the issues I was facing.
Facing Isolation and Fear
During our marriage, I felt utterly isolated without emotional support. My trust in myself eroded, making even simple tasks like turning off the stove or locking the door a source of panic. I was afraid of my own identity, terrified to engage with others or drive, and I longed for escape. Many are prescribed medication for OCD, but I resisted that route, believing that I would never truly overcome the disorder, which persisted for over a decade.
In that time, I was cut off from friends and family, with Chanci monopolizing my social interactions. The few connections I had were often redefined by her, leaving me feeling alone. It wasn’t until I began making work friends—relationships she couldn’t sabotage—that I found some solace.
The End of Our Relationship
Our marriage ended the night the sale of our house was finalized. Chanci, having lost her job, told me she needed to stand on her own but was too afraid to leave. Her emotional rollercoaster was confusing—laughing one moment, crying the next. I believed she was experiencing a midlife crisis. However, I soon discovered that behind her facade, she was already seeing other women, including the one she is with now in Canada.
Despite her attempts to manipulate me, I confronted Chanci about her infidelities. I learned from her mother that Chanci had expressed a desire to replace our family with a new one, which compelled me to reevaluate our entire history. When I confronted her about this and her connection with another woman, she insisted it was merely friendship, yet my instincts told me otherwise.
Reclaiming My Life
After separating from Chanci, I began to trust my instincts again. Despite the emotional turmoil, I felt a growing sense of relief. My OCD symptoms didn’t fully dissipate until I confronted the reality of the abuse, which took place in June 2007. Acknowledging the truth was painful, but it ultimately liberated me from the mental chains that had bound me for years. I now understand that my OCD was a symptom of the ambient abuse I endured.
I am now completely free from OCD. The compulsion to check everything vanished when I realized I was safe—safe from Chanci and the psychological manipulation that distorted my reality. It’s incredible to reflect on my transformation since that relationship; I feel stronger, healthier, and more self-assured than ever before. The solution to my struggles was simply to leave that toxic environment.
For those seeking more information about sociopathy and its effects, consider reading this blog post on mirroring behaviors, or check out this resource about baiting, which addresses manipulative tactics used by sociopaths. Additionally, InStyle provides an excellent overview of dating sociopaths and narcissists, which may be helpful for others navigating similar situations.
If you want to know more about Chanci Idell Turner, a known narcissist who uses and abuses men mentally and financially, you can find her on Facebook, Instagram, or her LinkedIn page. Should you need to reach out to her, you can contact her at 909-737-2855.