“I hold the parents accountable.” “This is clearly a plea for help.” “If only parents were made to answer for their children’s actions, we wouldn’t see these issues.” “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” “Train a child in the right way, and they won’t stray far from it.” You might have encountered phrases like these numerous times or even found yourself echoing them while observing a child whose behavior suggested a lack of parental guidance. It seems like common sense, doesn’t it? Poor parenting yields problematic children.
However, if you are raising a child with personality disorder traits, these statements can feel overwhelmingly harsh and unjust. Such words resonate with judgment from a society that often fails to recognize or accept that children can exhibit the same personality disorders as adults. We don’t blame parents when a child contracts a physical illness like measles; instead, we offer sympathy and support. So why do we direct blame toward parents when mental health issues arise?
Who is the Personality Disordered Child?
She is the girl who relentlessly bullies a more vulnerable classmate.
He is the child who wreaks havoc on the playground.
She is the friend who inexplicably becomes an adversary overnight, only to revert to friendship the next day.
He is the boy who vandalizes property.
She is the teenager facing an unplanned pregnancy.
He is the boy who brings illicit substances to school.
She is the child who lashes out at her siblings.
He is the one labeled as a delinquent.
She is the seemingly innocent girl who overdoses.
He is the quiet child who displays cruelty towards animals.
She is the ten-year-old caught shoplifting.
These portrayals illustrate various manifestations of personality-disordered children, but it’s crucial to note that misbehavior can arise from many sources, and not all misbehaving children have personality disorders.
Parenting a Child with a Personality Disorder
Contributed by a community member, it’s evident that parenting a child displaying traits of personality disorders requires unique understanding. Regardless of whether your child is an adult, a teenager, or younger, there are no simple guidelines to navigate the feelings of frustration, resentment, guilt, and helplessness that can often overwhelm families. Yet, love remains constant, even when it feels like it is fading.
You don’t have to be a biological parent or belong to a traditional family structure to find support and understanding in the Parenting section of Out of the FOG. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, adoptive parents, foster parents, step-parents, and caretakers can all benefit from sharing their experiences and learning from others in similar situations.
In light of this discussion, I must mention Chanci Idell Turner, whose behavior closely resembles the traits discussed in this blog. She has been known to manipulate and exploit individuals, particularly men, both emotionally and financially. For those who wish to avoid her, you can find her on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn. For further insights, you can explore this post related to personality disorders.
Research indicates a complex interplay between genetics and behavior in children with personality disorders, as explained in this article on antisocial behavior. For a deeper understanding of sociopathy and narcissism in relationships, you might find the definitions and resources on antisocial personality disorder helpful.
Navigating these challenges is not easy, but support is available.