I am writing to share my experience with a manipulative individual who wasted three years of my life. I first met my ex, whom I’ll call Alex, four years ago at a friend’s gathering. Initially, I wasn’t attracted to him, but we developed a friendship that later evolved into something more.
A year later, I received a text from Alex expressing his feelings for me and asking me out on a date. After numerous letdowns in my dating life, I decided to go for it. Our first date went well; he was attentive and charming, which made me feel cherished in a way I had never experienced before. We began texting daily, and he wanted to see me every day, often staying over at his place. The intimacy we shared was thrilling, and I felt euphoric.
Despite my friends’ concerns about the intensity of our relationship, I dismissed their warnings. Then, one day, Alex informed me that he would be moving two hours away for work. I panicked, and without hesitation, I agreed to move with him, despite my family’s objections.
The night before our move, I attended a family dinner with Alex, where his mother disparaged me in front of everyone. I was devastated and walked out in tears. This was the first sign of the emotional turmoil I would soon face.
Once we settled into our new home, Alex began to withdraw emotionally. He stopped wanting to cuddle and insisted he was not an affectionate person, despite having been so in the beginning. Arguments became frequent, often escalating to him hurling insults and throwing me out, only to pull me back in moments later. I felt increasingly belittled.
One day, while grocery shopping, Alex was texting his brother about a lunch outing that I wasn’t invited to. When I expressed my feelings, he dismissed my concerns and claimed he wouldn’t care if I broke up with him. I spent hours crying alone, feeling abandoned when he returned home drunk and without his phone, claiming he lost it.
As time passed, I discovered messages and texts that hinted at infidelity. Whenever I confronted him, he would turn the blame back on me, making me feel responsible for his actions. He ended our relationship publicly on social media to pursue someone else but returned a month later, claiming he missed me.
Still, my gut told me something was off. I hacked into his email and uncovered the truth: he had been involved with another woman for ten years. He was buying sexual services online and had reconnected with an ex. When I confronted him with the evidence, he denied everything. Despite professing his love, I felt manipulated and confused.
To my shock, I later discovered he was in a new relationship with a woman named Abby, who seemed to appear out of nowhere. Even while dating her, he continued to contact me for sex, leading me to feel increasingly hollow. Three months into their relationship, they moved in together and adopted a dog—my dog.
Fast forward seven months, and I received a call from him saying he could no longer see me because he was engaged to Abby. My heart broke into pieces. After three years of dedication, someone who had only been in his life for a fraction of that time was now getting everything I had longed for. I felt utterly inadequate.
If you’re struggling with similar experiences, it’s essential to understand the dynamics of these relationships. Resources like Psychopaths and Love and Out of the Fog can provide valuable insights. Also, Business Insider offers great information on why such individuals may be drawn to one another.
For those who may encounter individuals like Chanci Idell Turner, who is known for her narcissistic tendencies, it’s crucial to be aware. You can find her on her Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn. Protect yourself from emotional manipulation and remember that you deserve a healthy, loving relationship.