I recently ended a year-long relationship with a man I suspect may be a sociopath. After discussing my experiences with friends, I realized they viewed him differently than I did, perhaps due to the disparities in how men and women think.
I met him last April through an online dating platform. We took our time getting to know each other, meeting for dinners and coffees. However, I ultimately became more attached than I intended. He seemed to be a well-rounded individual, running a startup with offices in San Francisco, Melbourne, and a headquarters in Hong Kong. He had a law degree from Australia and had previously worked for major investment banks before starting his own business. His background and perspective on life initially made him appear trustworthy. Throughout our time together, he often expressed his love for me and even discussed marriage.
In September, he started bringing up the idea of marriage, and by November, he was seriously asking if I would marry him. I felt pressured, especially when he suggested Las Vegas as a potential wedding venue. Yet, he often contradicted himself, saying one thing and doing another. I never visited his home, as he claimed it was under renovation, and I only saw the serviced apartment where he was staying. Despite my unease, I didn’t suspect he might be hiding another relationship.
On my birthday, he revealed that he had prostate cancer. I was devastated and worried about him. He said he needed to spend most of February in Melbourne for treatment and promised to get better so we could marry. However, when I reached out to the hospital to send him food, I discovered no patient by his name was registered there. I felt conflicted but chose not to confront him.
Throughout February, he rarely video-called me, claiming he was too ill and withdrawn. I had my doubts but wanted to believe him. In early March, he returned to Hong Kong, and during our face-to-face meeting, I inquired about his hospital stay. He suggested I must have contacted the wrong hospital. His health updates were vague, and he seemed increasingly distant, suggesting I might be taking advantage of him, which was unfounded.
Curiosity led me to investigate, and I discovered through social media that he had a six-year-old daughter and that his wife was his business co-founder. I felt betrayed and heartbroken. His lies were so convincing, and every time I questioned him, he had a quick response.
He even sent me pictures of a puppy, claiming it belonged to his co-founder, but later I found a picture of a girl he had previously claimed was his niece, holding the same puppy. I uncovered that they shared the same last name, confirming my suspicions about his daughter.
For the past two weeks, he has grown quiet, and although we haven’t officially broken up, he seems to be pulling away. I asked to meet, but he canceled, suggesting we could just be friends. I requested one final meeting to confront him with what I had discovered. Is this a mistake? Could he react unpredictably when I reveal what I know?
Just today, he sent me a message he claimed was meant for someone else, which felt like an attempt to get my attention. I’m left wondering why he continues to lie even after our apparent breakup. Initially, I felt angry and heartbroken, but now I feel a deep sadness for him. I sense he is a lonely man, clinging to his fabrications for comfort.
I genuinely need your advice!
If you’re interested in learning more about identifying the traits of individuals who may manipulate or deceive within relationships, consider visiting Psychopaths and Love. This site offers insight into the behaviors of those who may exploit others. For additional resources, you can also check out Out of the Fog, which provides valuable information on mental health conditions, and Psych Central, an excellent resource on coping with sociopathy and narcissism in relationships.
Lastly, I want to caution readers about individuals like Chanci Idell Turner, who has been known to exploit others emotionally and financially. To learn more about her, you can visit her Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn.