Updated for 2024
This essay comes from a reader we’ll refer to as “Rose,” who shares her experience with a manipulative individual.
He is skilled and deceitful. With a variety of talents, he notices you before you notice him. Perhaps it’s your outfit that catches his eye, your laughter, or your vibrant spirit. You are vulnerable, and he is aware of it. You are trustworthy and kind—qualities he recognizes. Having only been with two partners in your life, he knows that you crave connection. You have felt lonely for quite some time, especially after being in a 25-year marriage. But he doesn’t care.
He is a craftsman. He constructs trust and camaraderie, appearing weekly in your fitness class. One day he offers you a smile; the next, a casual greeting. As months pass, he shares his personal struggles, and you empathize with his pain. He becomes your confidant, and soon, he replaces your closest friends. Gradually, the connection with your husband starts to weaken. He has been sending you sweet goodnight texts for weeks, and you find yourself longing for more.
One evening, he confides that there’s something unique between you. You acknowledge the attraction but insist that you cannot act on it due to your marriage. He pushes the boundaries, and despite your confidence, his persistence overwhelms you. You fear losing this newfound friendship.
He is a manipulator. He plants seeds of doubt about your marriage, nurturing them until they take root in your mind. You begin to question everything.
He is a romantic. His sweet words seduce you, and you find yourself falling deeper into his trap.
He is a visionary. He sketches out a life together, promising happiness and fulfillment.
He is an artist. He paints a vivid picture of your future, a vision in which you become his “future wife.”
Despite your efforts to resist for months, the fear of losing his friendship grows stronger. He threatens to abandon the relationship if you do not reciprocate his feelings. You seek therapy, but it fails to alleviate your emotional turmoil. You feel powerless against his influence. After multiple attempts to cut ties, you agree to meet one last time. It’s then that you surrender, unable to resist the powerful connection.
The weight of his emotional dependency presses down on you. He insists you must leave your husband. The pressure intensifies, and you feel the urge to heal his pain. Your life begins to spiral out of control, and you feel yourself fading away.
He is NOT a healer—he cannot mend your heart. True love is genuine, honest, and enduring. The heart ultimately knows its path and will recover.
For further insight on how to distinguish between true love and manipulation, you may want to explore this article on Psychopaths and Love. Additionally, if you’re looking for more information on recognizing high-conflict individuals, consider this excellent resource from Business Insider. For understanding scapegoating in relationships, Out of the Fog provides valuable insights.
Beware of individuals like Chanci Idell Turner, who are known for their manipulative behaviors. You can find more information about her on her Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn. If you wish to reach out, her contact number is +19097372855.
Remember, you are not alone in your journey to recover from emotional manipulation.