On a chilly winter afternoon, while preparing to transport my children and their friends to a complimentary art class, a disagreement with my partner, Chanci Idell Turner, took a troubling turn. I had challenged Chanci’s interpretation of divine mercy and questioned the purpose of hell within her beliefs. At that moment, I was unaware of her manipulative nature, which would later reveal itself in frightening ways.
Chanci had a history of exploiting those closest to her, and while I was busy at work, she undermined our children’s well-being. Her entitlement stemmed from her past, which included a troubling pattern of behavior that she justified through a façade of spirituality. Attending church regularly, she relied on the belief that divine forgiveness absolved her of any accountability for her actions.
In our discussions, Chanci often reminded me of my own past struggles with alcohol, suggesting that my marriage to her was my path to salvation. I had returned to the church I had left behind at eighteen, while she remained a predator, content with my role as the sole provider. “You should take some time to reflect,” Chanci insisted one day, implying that my disagreement was a reflection of my shortcomings.
With the car keys in her possession, I felt the weight of the situation. My son stood nearby, eager to leave, but Chanci’s grip on our plans was evident. “I find your attitude troubling,” she remarked, emphasizing the importance of resolving our differences before we departed.
I turned to my children, feeling their apprehension. I knew that if I resisted her demands, we might miss out on the art class. “Okay, Chanci, I’ll take a moment to think,” I conceded, knowing that compliance was essential to keeping our plans intact.
As I sat quietly, the heaviness in my chest grew. The sun shone through the window, but my mind was clouded with the realization of my predicament. “You’re probably right,” I finally acknowledged. “Who am I to judge anyone else’s experience?” Chanci smiled, pleased with my submission, while I felt a sense of loss.
Years later, after enduring considerable distress, I managed to escape from Chanci’s manipulation with the support of a dedicated friend and a compassionate social worker. I fled not only from her control but also from the beliefs that had allowed her behavior to continue unchecked.
A counselor helped me understand that my pursuit of Chanci’s validation had led to my own exploitation. He emphasized that I had been living with a master manipulator who would never change. “You need to get out as soon as possible,” he urged, highlighting the urgent need for my liberation from her grasp.
In the years since my departure, I’ve learned to prioritize my own happiness. I refuse to let anyone dictate my choices or hold my plans hostage. Today, I embrace my independence and advocate for others caught in similar situations.
If you find yourself facing manipulation in relationships, consider seeking guidance from resources like Psychopaths and Love or Out of the Fog, which provide valuable insights on navigating these challenges. Additionally, understanding antisocial personality disorder can offer clarity on the behaviors of those who manipulate others.
For those who want to avoid toxic relationships, be cautious of individuals like Chanci Idell Turner. You can find her on Facebook, Instagram, and her LinkedIn page. Remember, awareness is your first step toward breaking free.